A Counter-Culture and The Peculiar People

Writing more about homeschooling has been on my mind for the last several days, yet I have had trouble finding the time to do so. What topic to address this time? Perhaps a bit from the first book I read on homeschooling.

As often happens when I'm seeking knowledge on a new subject, I head to the library and check out a stack of books on the subject. They say not to judge a book by its cover, so I end up with every book they have on the given subject, just to be safe. Although, once get home, I have to start somewhere, so I do have to do a little cover judging. But it seems I am not unguided in my judgements. Such as when I was struggling with Braxton's behavior last year (see this post). This time the first book that drew me once I got home with my stack was a book called A Mom Just Like You by Vickie Farris and Jayme Farris Metzgar. I quickly realized that it is a book written by a Christian woman from Washington (where I was born) who chose to homeschool her 10 children. Sounds like a book for me (though maybe not the 10 kids!).

I was fascinated by how she arrived at the decision to homeschool. Like our family, she was not deterred by bad schools. In fact, her first daughter was attending first grade at a good Christian school when they came to the decision. It was from the Christian school that her daughter became enthusiastic about the particular Bible memorization they were working on.

She recited the verse she had learned, and told me how her teacher had explained its meaning. I suddenly stopped what I was doing and looked at her, overwhelmed by an unaccountable sense of jealousy. "Yes, it's wonderful that her school teaches the Bible," I thought to myself, "But...that's my job!"

She goes on to talk about a verse that she had recently read that talks about how we should diligently teach the words of God to our children at home, as we walk, as we go to bed, when we get up...always.

I was hit by the conviction that Mike and I should be the ones teaching spiritual truths to our children. God had given us the responsibility to train them, and apparently we were to be doing this in the various situations that would arise throughout the course of each day. But how could we do this if our children were gone to school five days a week?

 I've thought along these lines myself, "How can I be sure my son is learning the things I want him to know if I'm not the one teaching him?" but I love the way she states it and the way she uses the scriptures to reaffirm her feelings.

I was quite surprised to find that a good portion of the book is about letting God determine your family size, but I won't discuss that here. If you're interested, it's a thought provoking read!

One other concept that really interested me from this book was the way that she looked at how much time homeschooling takes. As you can imagine, homeschooling 10 kids is a whole other level from 1 or 2! I really admire the way that this woman looks at every aspect of life as either you trust God or you don't. Such as with their decision to refrain from using birth control and trust God to bless them with the number of children that He would give them, she has the same outlook on giving of your time to your children. She talks about Mark 8:34-36 where it talks about losing our life for His sake and Luke 14:33 that talks about forsaking all that we have. She says,

What does this mean in my everyday life? It is essentially an attitude adjustment: I try to remember that my time is not really mine, but rather the Lord's. When I don't get the time to read a magazine or make a phone call, I should have no basis for complaint--because that time is not mine to claim. When I do get a little time to relax, however, I should receive it with thanksgiving as an undeserved gift from God. 

This is not an easy attitude to adapt!

She does talk about some of the ways that she uses those "undeserved gifts from God" to help her recharge and, in turn, be a better mother, but what I really admired was the way that she looked to and trusted God for everything.

It is much easier for me to find the balance between service and rest when I look at Psalms 62:5 "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him". In other words, all we have belongs to the Lord, and all we need comes from the Lord. We are both to yield everything to God and expect everything from Him. When we consider our time as His, and not our own, we can also look to Him to provide our need for rest and refreshment. If we need physical strength, spiritual stamina, emotional encouragement, or human help, He will not fail to give it to us. Nor will He fault us if we bring our needs and requests before Him.

I must admit that when I brought home my stack of books from the library, I was looking more for "how to's" and different homeschooling methods and organization ideas...the logistics of it. But, as usual, Heavenly Father knew that before I worried about the "how" of a venture, I needed to catch the vision of the "why". In the last chapter of her book, this mom talks about how the Bible says that "children are an heritage of the Lord". She talks about how the word heritage struck her. Children are not simply a gift - usually something fleeting and easy to obtain, but a heritage - something that often requires hard work, but the value of which can be increased. She gives the analogy of a man who inherits an estate, but doesn't put the work into it.

When his own life ends, he will not have much of a heritage to leave his family after him. However, if he diligently manages the estate, he can actually increase its value as time goes by, leaving his children an even better inheritance than he himself received. The value of the heritage increases with the work invested.

She talks about how a heritage is something long-lasting--reaching across generations if well cared for.

I would like every home schooling mother to catch this same vision of raising "a godly seed"--a seed which will continue to reproduce itself and bear fruit long after we are gone.

 I looked up the definition of heritage, since I wasn't actually sure of its meaning. It is "something that comes or belongs to one by reason of birth; an inherited lot or portion". This took it one step further for me. Children are something that has come to us from someone who lived before us - the Lord. They are an heritage of the Lord because they were His before they were ours. And they still are His, really. How wonderful!

As far as homeschooling as an alternative to what many see as a failing public school system, the author references a speech she heard comparing home schoolers to the underground church in the former Soviet Union. The speaker talked about how the Christian church is now coming alive with young people. He asked some of these young people how they knew they were Christians after so many years of Communism.

In every single case the answer was the same: "My grandmother." Even as the nation was listening to the Communists shout, "There is no God!", these old women would whisper into the ears of their grandchildren: "Remember we are believers. There is a God, and we believe in Him."

The author says,

I was struck by the imagery of this analogy. Like those old Russian grandmothers, we home schooling moms are building a counter-culture beneath the rotting structure of today's American society. Our faithfulness is creating a sound structure that, by the grace of God, will last even after the rotting outer shell of our culture has crumbled away.

Maybe it's the rebel in me, but I love that idea of creating a counter-culture. Definition: a culture and lifestyle of those people, especially among the young, who reject or oppose the dominant values and behavior of society. And if there was anything I would want my kids to reject, it is the dominant values and behavior of our society! I know a lot of people think of homeschooled kids as weird...peculiar, maybe, but as Deuteronomy 14:2 says, "For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself."